The Plot Bunnies Are Eating My Brain!
by Nobody Famous
Summary: Alternative based drabble series - KID VS: One wrong phrase pits Kaitou Kid against the King of Goblins over the fate of a lost *read: kidnapped* not-child. Who will win? It's...huh. Didn't see THAT ending coming...
1. Adoption: KAITO

AN: Okay, this is a drabble series dedicated to all the different things that could have but didn't happen, but would have been incredibly funny if they did (AKA: the plot bunnies that won't leave me alone but aren't enough in themselves for me to make them into full fledged story). Some of the prompts involve the question of what would have occurred if Conan ended up staying with someone other than Ran and a number will be based on what could happen if Kid DID find Pandora.

These chapters are going to be short scenes depicting these alternatives, mostly in humor and for comedic purposes. While they will mainly be one-shots, some may have other scenes added to the plot bunny later on in future chapters. There will be crossovers, crack, and general craziness. Romance will not be as major of a focus in these, though I'm not against making pairings. Angst may be included, but sparely depending on my mood. I do take requests, and any of these are open to adoption if one asks.

**Adoption: KAITO**

There are moments in history where the unexpected occurs. Moments where it seems that the very workings of fate have conspired to alter the whole of reality itself to bring about one particular event—for good or ill. These are the moments where all the planning and effort of the higher powers ruling this world come into fruition as a person is faced with their intended fate, however much they may try to avoid it.

Then there are those people who give the big "f—" you to said fate and drag the chosen "destined" person onto an entirely new path, usually running like hell while cackling like madmen with a very angry entity on their heels.

Kaitou Kid was one of these people. If anyone knew how to outmaneuver the best-laid plans, it was the white-clad phantom thief. Even if, however unknowingly, those plans he disturbed were those of fate itself.

"This is the BEST DAY EVER!"

"What the hell—?!"

But he's still having way too much fun with it.

It started out innocently enough—or as innocently as anything can be when Kaitou Kid is involved. He was just flying on his glider, making another fantastic getaway from the local law enforcement after stealing yet another priceless gem—which he WOULD be returning in a few days, sheesh, not that anybody bothers to remember that part—when he passed by a nearby amusement park and happened upon some poor soul getting clobbered from behind by a couple creepy guys in black who looked like they could definitely be part of the same group as Snake. Immediately, he set down somewhere out of sight and returned to the scene only to find that the men in black coats were gone and the only thing left behind was an injured child in much-too-big clothes that looked suspiciously like those of the teenager who had just been attacked only moments before.

After that, it was only a matter of bringing the kid to one of his several hideouts where Jii was waiting for him and getting his story. Once the story was revealed and the similarities between the criminals involved in their two situations noted, Kaito—in full Kid regalia—came to one conclusion.

"Now I have my very own sidekick!" Kid cheered, glomping the chibi-fied Shinichi for all his worth.

"I'm not your 'very own ANYTHING'! Put me down!"

"We'll have to get you your own costume, of course!" Kid continued, obviously not listening to any of the smaller's protests or paying him any mind as Shinichi finally managed to get out of his grip and back away. "A mini of mine? That would be hilarious, but there's no telling how you'd pull off the cape and top-hat..."

Shinichi glared. "You're a thief! Why would you want a sidekick, anyway?"

"Hey, it gets lonely sometimes," Kid told him. "Stealing gems...outrunning the law...you know how it is."

"No, I don't. And do you know why? Because I'm NOT A THIEF!"

"Well, of course not!" Kid chided. "Not everyone can start out being as skilled as me, after all." A very scary grin formed on his face. "I'll show you the ropes and teach you everything you need to know about being a phantom thief!"

The shrunken Shinichi's eye twitched. 'Is this guy for real?' He sighed and shook his head. "But I'm a detective!"

"Think of it as getting to know your enemy." The thief reasoned.

"But you're not my enemy!"

Kid smiled at the not-child, starry eyed. "Aww, I knew you cared!"

"In that you weren't the one to give me experimental poison that shrunk me instead of killing me." Shinichi deadpanned.

"So MEAN, Tantei-kun!" Kid pouted.

"Well," Jii mused. "It would be more likely for you to accomplish your goals if you were to work together."

Shinichi sighed. It was true that he and Kid probably had a common enemy in this criminal organization—judging from what information they could gather, which honestly wasn't much, but was still enough to give the impression that they were linked somehow due to their similar style of dress, associations, plans, and general MO. Even if their two situations weren't caused by the same group, they were still likely linked somehow. And even if they weren't, Shinichi wasn't about to let any criminal group escape justice. And it'd help to have others working with him to bring these guys down and find a way to restore him to his true age.

"Fine. I'll give this partnership a try." He conceded.

Kid beamed. "This is going to be GREAT! I can be all broody and angsty and pessimistic and stuff as I'm driven to fight evil-doers in all their forms in the darkness of the night and bring them to justice through fear and vigilantism—"

"You're not Batman!"

"—Tortured by the horrible death of my parents years ago and driving myself nuts dealing with the guilt by taking down criminals—"

"Um...your mother is still alive..."

"—And you can be my foil reminding me that there is good in everyone and slowly get me to open up and be more human through your wide-eyed child-like innocence!"

Eyebrow still twitching, Shinichi looked up at Jii. "He DOES know I'm not REALLY seven, right?"

Jii sighed, resigned. "Let's just let the young master dream for a while..."

Yes, this would be the start of something quite interesting.

**Omake:**

"Alfred, I'll be in the Bat-cave!" Kid shouted out over his shoulder as he opened a door to a large grandfather clock and walked inside.

Pause.

Shinichi blinked. "Is that actually...?"

Jii sighed, more annoyed this time. "No, that's just a regular clock."

"Hey guys? I think I'm stuck..."


	2. The Eyes

Special thanks to RAGA for pointing out a minor grammar error in the last chapter. The request is underway and will be posted in a future chapter.

Take the implications in this chapter as you will; just make sure you're not drinking anything when you read this. I think I very nearly killed myself just trying to type this out. Because somebody else did it and it was too funny of an idea not to follow up on.

**The Eyes**

Conan looked out the window to the pleasant sunny scene outside and stifled a yawn. Yes, today was looking to be another normal day.

Then the door slammed open.

"Tantei-kun! How COULD you?!" Kid shouted as he burst into the room.

Everyone immediately froze.

And stared. Yes, there was much staring to be had. Kaitou Kid, in the flesh, outside of a heist, right in their midst. Everyone was in too much shock to even consider that they should probably be trying to capture the internationally wanted criminal.

Or figure out why the hell Kid would storm into a popular and well-known restaurant. In the middle of the day. With a crowd of witnesses and a good few cops nearby.

So much for the normal day...

Conan blinked in surprise. "Kid?"

"Don't you 'Kid' me! I never would have thought you'd do something so heinous!"

"...Huh?"

"And after everything we've been through!" Kid lamented, raising a shaking hand to point at Conan accusingly. "You've been CHEATING on me!"

Everyone gaped.

Conan blinked, getting a sense of foreboding. "Wait—what?"

Ran stared at Kid for a moment before looking down at her young charge in uncertainty. "Conan...? Were you...?"

"What?! NO!"

"I try to make things work! Put ALL that time and effort into every encounter! What—am I not good enough for you?" Kid demanded, hands on hips and striking an angry pose.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know full well what I'm talking about!" Kid exclaimed, heatedly. "You went cavorting around with another thief!"

Pause.

Blink.

"...What?"

"Don't pretend you don't know!" Kid ranted. "It was the perfect night! I had everything set up just how I wanted! It was just going to be you, me, and the Star Ruby; and YOU," here he pointed at Conan accusingly, "were chasing after that DAMN LUPIN!"

Cue gasps all around.

"But...that's what detectives do!" Wasn't it? Yeah, Conan nodded. That's what detectives are supposed to do. Chase after thieves and solve murders and such.

"But you're MY detective!" Kid whined, sounding like a petulant child.

"Since WHEN?" Conan sputtered, indignantly.

"Since always! You were MY detective since before that lousy suit-wearing jerk ever even saw you!"

"What about Hakuba?"

"He's boring! And obsessed! And did you SEE that costume he wears? It's creepy!" Kid pouted.

"Look who's talking!"

"What does he have that I don't?!" Kid demanded.

...He wasn't REALLY supposed to answer that, was he?

"Tantei-kuuuuun!"

"No, Kid. I can't go to EVERY one of your heists! I do have other cases to work on and other things to do besides chasing you around whenever you want! You're not exactly at the top of my priority list in terms of 'criminals to take down'." Conan tried to explain.

Which, in retrospect, was an incredibly bad move.

And as if things weren't bad enough already, Kid had to go and make them worse when he brought his hands to his chest as though he had been struck, looking every bit like a puppy that had been kicked.

"D-don't you like me anymore, Tantei-kun?" Kid whimpered, sounding hurt.

Conan froze.

Oh GOD no.

It was only at this moment that Conan realized exactly what was going to happen and just how deep in trouble he's about to find himself.

Sure enough, gasps were heard from multiple onlookers as Kid's eyes grew large and started to shimmer threateningly, his lower lip quivering.

Ayumi took a step forward in concern. "K...Kid...?"

And oh lord, he was starting to SNIFFLE!

'Oh nonono, PLEASE no!' Conan was starting to inwardly panic.

"Kid? Are you okay?" Ayumi asked him, worried.

"I-I'm fine..." Kid gave another sniffle, looking away as unshed tears became dangerously close to spilling over.

'He's not actually going to...there's no way.'

Then Kid slid to his knees and started to cry.

Conan slapped his forehead. 'Yep...he actually is.'

And it certainly didn't help that everybody else FELL for it.

Sonoko, he wasn't surprised over. She was an avid Kid fan, so it was to be expected that she glare at him and look ready to try and wrangle his little neck. Luckily, she only kept hold of the back of his shirt instead, but the tight-fisted grip was only a slight improvement over actually clutching his throat.

Ayumi moved over to Kid and patted his knee sympathetically as he wiped futilely at his eye and monocle with the sleeve of his white jacket. "There there, Kid. It's okay."

The other boys glared. "Conan!"

"I'm sorry?" He tried to appease while glancing around to see if there was anyone else who would help.

Takagi and Sato knew better than to get involved and gave Conan a shrug that clearly said he was on his own.

And Ran—RAN!—knelt next to Kid's side and held him in a half-hug, assuring him that it would all be okay and Conan didn't mean to hurt his feelings.

Everyone else was mixed between sympathy for Kid or outright confusion.

Except for Ai, who was in the background laughing.

As well as the fangirls, who were too busy squealing and getting pictures, but nobody paid attention to them.

And poor Conan was stuck standing there, unable to really say or do anything as Kid milked the situation for all its worth. At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to just curl up and die.

"I-I thought what we had was special!" Kid cried into his pristine white gloves as Ran rubbed his shoulder and tried to sooth him.

"It's okay. I'm sure Conan didn't mean it like that, really!" Ran turned to Conan, giving him her scary Glare 'O Doom that promised pain if he didn't agree. "RIGHT, Conan?" She asked in a sickeningly sweet voice that did not at all match the terrifying look on her face.

He realized at this point there was no use arguing and simply nodded. "Y-yeah."

"I don't believe you! You don't like mee-eeeee!" Kid started crying again, causing a number of people to send Conan increasingly dark glares, including Ran, who was giving him a disappointed LOOK that was clearly demanding him to fix this NOW.

Conan looked panicked. What was HE supposed to do?

Sonoko perked up with an idea. "How about if he makes sure go to your next heist? Will that make you feel better?"

Kid hiccuped, pausing for a moment before nodding slightly.

"You'll go, RIGHT, Conan?" Ran asked of him, expectantly.

Conan sighed, just wanting this to be over with. "Yes, yes I'll go."

Ran turned back to smile at the weeping phantom thief. "See, Kid? He cares."

Kid just shrugged despondently, obviously not believing them.

"And just to make sure nothing interrupts the heist, I'll ground Conan from any cases for the next week. Will that make you feel better?"

"WHAT?!" Conan shouted. He needed those cases! "I can't just NOT solve a murder when it happens!"

There was a short pause before Sonoko gave a small gasp as an idea hit her. "Then we'll make sure there won't be any murders!"

Deadpan.

Conan blinked. "Huh?"

Sonoko turned to give the crowd an evil glare. "Anybody who commits a murder in the next week gets drop-kicked by Ran."

Everyone stared at Sonoko.

Pause.

Everyone slowly glanced over at Ran.

Another pause.

Several people recognized her from her tournaments.

Others were able to figure enough from the patented GLARE 'O DOOM she was sending them. A few actually ran away screaming.

The rest wisely decided to just nod and agree.

Sonoko nodded, pleased. "Good."

"Okay, Kid," Ran started, talking to him like a small child. "Now Mommy and all these nice people are going to go make sure nothing happens for the next week to keep Conan from going to your next heist, and Conan is going to stay right here and find a way to make it up to you."

"But—" Conan tried to interject, but was promptly silenced with one of Ran's glares and his objections remained ignored by everyone else.

Kid gave another nod, seeming to feel better. "...Okay."

Ran gave a resolute nod, smiling brightly at the success. "Okay then!" She then stood and followed everyone outside, pausing once at the door to turn back and smile. "Now you two make up nice, okay?"

Conan twitched.

For the first time, he finally understood what could drive a person to murder.

'Hate you, Kid. SO. Much.'

**Omake****:**

Conan and Kid were the only two customers left in the diner. Kid was poking at the slowly melting ice-cream sundae one overly sympathetic waitress had brought out for him, a clear cloud of depression hanging over his head. And Conan...

He just wanted to go home already. Go home, go to bed, and try to forget this day ever happened. But he couldn't DO that until Kid cheered up and left, or Sonoko would have his head.

When it came to her 'Kid-sama', that girl was scarier than an angry Ran.

Conan searched his mind for something to try and get Kid out of his funk, but nothing was working so far. Simply apologizing hadn't helped. Ice cream wasn't working. He'd have to offer something else.

"Um...Kid, would you like to go taunt Inspector Nakamori?"

Kid slowly shook his head, the cloud of depression starting to grow.

"Do you want to work on plans for your next heist?"

Again with the shaking of the head and—oh god, he was starting to sniffle again!

Desperate and panicked, Conan gave one last effort.

"Do you want to go prank Hakuba?"

Kid paused for a moment before finally giving a tiny nod.

Conan sighed. "Fine, lets go."

The next day, Hakuba's hair was blue with pink polka-dots, his clothes were all replaced with brightly colored Hawaiian shirts and shorts, and his house was covered in an odd assortment of toilet paper, confetti, and Christmas lights.

Needless to say, Hakuba was ticked, but Kid was in a much better mood. At least until Nakamori refused to let Conan come to the heist.

But that's another story.


	3. Grim Outlook

Sorry everyone. I had to introduce it SOMEHOW, and this was the best way I could think of. Probably not as funny as the last chapter, but still.

**Grim Outlook**

Well, this was it, he supposed. Honestly, it was kind of a sucky way to go now that he really thought about it. Not that he could do much else BUT think about it since he couldn't even bring himself to be able to move. But still, being stuck laying here on some abandoned rooftop with a hole in his chest was NOT the way he imagined himself dying.

Not that he really spent much time imagining how he would die. He preferred not to think about it, despite how often he would knowingly dance with death. But still, he had hoped he'd be able to get more done in taking down his father's murderers before ending up in the same sorry state.

Stupid snipers. Stupid Snake. Stupid Pandora, wherever it was.

He coughed, feeling something wet in his mouth that he really doubted meant anything good. And that unearthly chill slowly crawling its way through his body was most certainly not just from the concrete beneath him. He shuddered.

Was this how it felt to die?

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud CLANG that seemed to echo throughout the area, and he thought he could even feel the ground beneath him vibrate. Blearily, he opened his eyes to see the familiar form of an out of breath Conan staring at him in horror.

"Hey...Tantei-kun..." He wheezed, giving a weak wave.

Aww...the mini-detective didn't look all that happy to see him. Was it about the jewel? But he gave it back.

...Didn't he?

...Yeah, he did. He was pretty sure he did. It was getting hard to focus, but he vaguely remembered checking the jewel and returning it already, so the kid couldn't be angry about that.

What else could it be? Maybe it was the whole "bleeding" bit. Sorry, Tantei-kun, wasn't aware bleeding to death was a crime. He'd point the chibi off in the direction of the his co-conspirators, except he was pretty sure they would have left by now. And he didn't want anyone else getting shot, either. Maybe he should tell the boy to leave, not that he'd listen, but it's the thought that counts, right? Though it did make him wonder how much the chibi already knew.

Odd...now that he thought about it, he didn't remember seeing Tantei-kun at the heist that night, so how did the kid even know to come looking for him? Or where he would be? Maybe it was true what they've been saying. It looks like death does follow the kid wherever he goes...or is it that he's the one following it? He giggled a little at that. Maybe the blood loss was making him a little loopy?

Ah well, at least it took his mind off the pain.

He blinked, realizing that while he was caught up in his train of thought, Tantei-kun had already reached him. And there was his little Watson, the similarly too mature and somewhat creepy little girl that's usually with him...what was her name? Amy? Allie? Anita? Darn it, he couldn't remember...

Oops, looks like the little detective was saying something and he wasn't paying attention. Sorry, Tantei-kun.

What were they saying now? Something about calling someone—oh, they were getting help. That was nice of them, but it was doubtful that whomever they were trying to bring would actually make it here in time. He appreciated the effort though, really he did, and he wanted to tell them as much, but—ooh, light getting a bit too bright now.

He closed his eyes, noting that the kid's voice had picked up again as he did. Tantei-kun probably wasn't all that pleased about it, and he was sorry...kinda, but the world was getting a bit too bright and spinny and he was really tired, and just couldn't keep them open any more.

The voices were getting more panicked now. And...oh dear, there's a new one now. The one they called? That was certainly quick. Who was it? Older...male...he thought for a moment it may have been Nakamori, but the voice was one that he didn't recognize. And...what sort of accent was that? Maybe it's the old guy who takes care of them? But that didn't seem quite right, either.

He gave a mental shrug. Oh well. It wasn't like there was anything they could do besides inform his loved ones. Though part of him was worried about how well they'd take it when his identity was revealed with his death. Mom would be heartbroken, having lost both her son and husband. Jii wouldn't be much better, likely blaming himself for losing Kid twice. Hakuba would have proof he was right...smug bastard. And Aoko...

...

Yeah, probably a good thing he'll already be dead before she finds out, because he's fairly certain she'd kill him. Somehow, death didn't seem so bad. It's not like he could really feel the pain much anymore, anyway. He could almost swear he was seeing flashes of light from behind his eyelids.

It vaguely occurred to him that this was probably because he was dying. Funny. He kind of expected it to hurt more. Ah well, he was probably drifting out. Kinda like going to sleep.

"Finally..."

"...here..."

"...got it."

"How's...doing?"

Though the stupid voices certainly weren't helping in that regard.

Stupid voices, keeping him awake. He oughta tell them off.

He opened his eyes to do just that.

And found himself looking into the vacant sockets of a skull.

A skull that proceeded to GRIN at him.

"Boo."

No, Kid did NOT give out a piercing shriek like that of a little girl and anyone who says differently is a dirty rotten liar.

"GAH! DIS is de thanks I get?" The skeleton clutched his—its phalanges to its skull, giving Kid a dirty look. "What're ya tryin' ta do, boy? Make me deaf?"

"What are YOU complaining about? You don't HAVE ears." Conan deadpanned, annoyed and yet at the same time, relieved.

"I think it's safe to say he's okay now if that high-pitched scream was anything to go by." Ai mused, smirking at him in a manner he probably should have taken offense to.

Kid, however, was too busy gaping at the walking, talking skeleton carrying the VERY sharp-looking scythe to notice.

"So...that's it, then?" Conan asked, glancing at Kaitou, concerned.

"Back to normal, good as new. Though he may be feelin' a bit sluggish for a while. And he'll be having one hell of a migraine in de mornin'."

Conan smiled. "Thanks, Grim."

The skeleton—Grim?—muttered darkly about having to give up a perfectly good soul as well as other things Kid tried very hard not to pay attention to as he slowly came to the startling realization that no, he was not dead. He wasn't even bleeding anymore, though he was fairly certain he was supposed to be, given the still very much visible bullet hole on his suit, much less the blood that would forever stain the white cloth and the concrete below him.

He shuddered. Best not to think about that right now. "Tantei-kun?" He ventured. "An explanation, please?"

Okay, so he was being rather demanding for a guy who had just apparently come back to life, but he HAD just apparently come back to life and there was a friggin' SKELETON standing RIGHT next to him, so he could be excused for freaking out just a little.

Conan coughed. "Kid, this is the Grim Reaper." He said, by way of introduction. "Grim, this is Kaitou Kid."

"We've met." Grim gave a rather sinister smile and Kid's poker face was all that kept him from breaking down completely. Unfortunately, he couldn't really stop from twitching slightly.

"If I may ask...HOW?"

"Heheh, funny story, that." Came the nervous chuckle.

"Look, are we done here?" Grim cut him off, bored. "Me favorite show's about to come on and I still have to reap dat guy about to be murdered three blocks down."

"Fine, fine. I'll try to have it solved before Yoko comes on." Conan conceded with a roll of his eyes.

Grim huffed.

With a small smile, the not-child gave a final nod to Kid before heading to the rooftop entrance and inside the building, not even seeming to take much notice of Kid or the way he was continuing to gape, jaw dropped and eyes wide in disbelief.

"Careful, your face may freeze dat way."

"Hurry it up, bonehead. We're leaving."

Grim muttered dark curses under his breath as he also went back inside. Ai followed him, but not before giving Kid one final smirk from over her shoulder as she closed the door behind them.

Kid watched them leave, feeling the beginning of a tic start to form.

"I know I've said that death follows you, Tantei-kun," Kid started out calmly, but quickly lost his poker face and was shouting by the end, "but I didn't mean it LITERALLY!"

His shout echoed throughout the now empty area.

**Omake:**

Takanuchi Hotori suddenly clutched his chest and keeled over in the small diner where he had been having lunch with his girlfriend. Immediately, high-pitched screams and shouts of "He's dead!" could be heard throughout the establishment.

While everyone else was panicking over the now dead man, Conan spun and sent a glare at the resident Reaper. "Dammit, Grim! Can't we go out ONE time without you working?"

Grim shrugged, nonchalantly. "Can't help it. I DO have a job ta do. Might as well kill two birds with one stone...so to speak."

Conan groaned. "I can't take you ANYWHERE, can I?"

"Hey, I saved the little monocle-wearing menace, what more do you want?"

"I wonder how he's doing?" Ai mused, smirking evilly.

Meanwhile, far away but in just as miserable of a state...

"Oh GOD, the light! It buuuurns..." He moaned, trying to cover his head.

"Get up, Kaito! You're not missing school over a hangover! What were you even DOING last night?! You KNOW you're too young to drink!"

Wincing at the volume of Aoko's rant, Kaito whimpered and—not for the first time that morning, really wondered if he'd have been better off not being brought back to life at all.

Stupid cloak-wearing skeletons. Stupid Tantei-kun with the Grim-friggin-Reaper friend-slave. Stupid Pandora, wherever it was—no doubt laughing at him.

"KAITO!"

"GAAAH!"

Yep. Definitely laughing.


	4. Adoption: AKAKO

My shortest one yet, so I do apologize. But it had to be done. Because I can only imagine the chaos that can occur from this.

...And because I'm scared of a certain someone cursing me if I don't do something starring her soon...

**Adoption: AKAKO**

There are moments in history where the unexpected occurs. Moments where it seems that the very workings of fate have conspired to alter the whole of reality itself to bring about one particular event—for good or ill. These are the moments where all the planning and effort of the higher powers ruling this world come into fruition as a person is faced with their intended fate.

Then you have those people who give the big finger to said fate and drag the chosen "destined" person onto an entirely new path, usually running like hell while cackling like madmen with a very angry deity on their heels.

"There you are."

"What the—?!"

Kid was one of those people. (Somewhere a good distance away, one Kaito Kuroba sneezed and wondered if someone was talking about him before shrugging and going back to his plans for pranking Hakuba.)

"Mistress, I've brought him."

"Excellent."

"What the hell?!"

Akako, however, was not. She didn't have to be. She was not one to concern herself about destiny—a good solid glare and it knew better than to question her interference in its long-awaited plans. So when she sent her manservant to retrieve the now shrunken detective it had been setting up to take down a crime organization in the form of a child, destiny did what any higher power would do when faced with such a problem: It whined, cried, and pouted, but eventually shut up and proceeded to go sulk in a corner while she got her way.

Fine. DON'T stick the chibi-Kudo with his longtime childhood-friend-slash-love-interest and her inept detective father. Just forget ALL about any sexual tension, humor, and drama that could come with having the shrunken genius living with said love interest while trying to keep from blowing his secret. See if WE care. Evil witch.

Akako smirked.

…Meanie.

"Let me go!" The not-child cried, wriggling like mad to get away from the creepy manservant and his equally creepy--though very beautiful mistress and failing miserably.

"Oh, I don't think so. Do you have any idea just how rare you are?" Akako asked him, smirking at him with that ever annoying "knowing" look that implied she knew something no one else did.

He paused in his struggling for a moment and blinked. "Huh?"

She sighed. "I suppose I shouldn't expect you to understand. It must seem natural for you and you have such little comprehension of the magical world. A pity, really. You are quite a fine specimen." She looked down at him, almost sympathetically. But that would mean she had the slightest understanding or concern for him or his well-being, which we know she doesn't, being the evil EVIL witch she is.

Not that anyone here is still bitter or anything. Not at all.

He gave her a strange stare. "There's no such thing as magic!" He waved his hands. "And I'm not any 'specimen' of anything!"

"Quiet!" She snapped at him before turning away to face her enchanted mirror. Because every evil witch needs one. "Tonight, we plan!" She announced.

The child blinked, completely thrown off. "For what?"

She smirked at him in the reflection. "With you working under me, Kid will fall and NOTHING will stand in my way of making all men my slaves and taking over the world!" She began to cackle madly, as most evil witches are known to do.

As she continued to cackle, oblivious to the two who were still in the room, Shinichi stared at her like she was mental—which she may very well be—and looked up at the manservant. "Is she always like this?"

Said manservant beamed, proudly. "She excelled in all her 'evil cackle' and 'plotting world domination' lessons."

Shinichi's eye twitched. 'What have I gotten in to?'

Well, at least there was one bright side to all this. Now Shinichi--as Conan--would be introduced to an entirely new aspect of the world, which would only help to enhance his already-developing deductive abilities.

Assuming he isn't completely traumatized in the endeavor first.

**Omake:**

For some inexplicable reason, Kaito suddenly found himself feeling abnormally cold, and began to shiver.

"Is everything all right?" Jii asked, noticing the young master's actions and starting to worry.

Kaito frowned. "I don't know...I've got the strangest feeling that something completely illogical and nearly impossible has happened that could mean the end of me. Or of my life as Kaitou Kid." He scratched the back of his head, unsure. "Almost as though two of my worst enemies had suddenly and inexplicably teamed up to take me down even though their very natures should clash with each other. Only instead of clashing, they've somehow combined their forces to create something more terrible than either of them separately could ever hope to be."

Pause.

Jii sighed, annoyed. "Sir, for the last time, Snake is not going to create a genetically-modified fish army to try and kill you. Or a fish-catapult. Or some biological fish-based weapon of mass destruction. Or any other sort of fish-based weaponry. That fool still hasn't realized that you're not your father either back from the grave or somehow surviving the previous murder attempt eight years ago; he's certainly not going to figure out your phobia. So please, let it go."

"Okay, okay. You're probably right." He gave a little chuckle, shrugging off the blatant and ominous warnings that would result in feeling his "encroaching doom syndrome" kick in. He probably couldn't be blamed for this mistake, as--being a non-magical being--it wasn't like he actually had any awareness of what the feeling truly was or the absolute horror it meant. "It probably won't be so bad, then. What else could be worse than that, anyway?"

Oh, Kaito. You poor, poor fool.


	5. Special Announcement

**Special Announcement**

We interrupt this drabble series to bring you an important message:

"DIE, KID!"

"GAH!"

A soccer ball went whizzing by the thief's head, just barely missing him. It flew at such a high speed that when it reached the wall, it proceeded to go THROUGH it, leaving a rather large hole through which residents of the next room were able to peek through to see the commotion.

"I didn't touch her, I SWEAR!"

"LIAR!"

And Kid had to duck to avoid another blow—this time from a steel urn, followed shortly by a lamp.

From nearby, Hattori and Hakuba stood, watching the entirely one-sided scuffle as Conan attempted to horribly murder Kid...and Kid tried to avoid being horribly murdered.

After several minutes of watching the scene, Hattori glanced at the blond next to him, sending him a dry glare. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Not at all." Hakuba replied, not sounding the least bit convincing.

"Riiight..." Hattori gave a roll of his eyes before looking back to the fight just in time to see Kid get nailed by an alarm clock. He winced. "So what brought this on?"

"Edogawa-san found out about the next 'Detective Conan' movie."

"The one with Ran and Kid getting a little too close and personal?"

"That's the one."

Hattori whistled. "No wonder he's ticked."

"Come on, Tantei-kun! Let's talk about this!" Kid held up his hands in a gesture of peace as he tried to talk things out with Conan.

Conan, on the other hand, ignored these attempts and lifted a weapon that no child should have. "DIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Hattori's eyes widened in horror. "WHERE did he get a ROCKET LAUNCHER?!"

Hakuba shrugged, unconcerned, a knowing smirk forming on his face. "No clue."

"Oh come on! How can you even lift that?! It's bigger than you are!"

"Just stand still and die!"

Hattori sent Hakuba a dry look. "And I suppose you expect me to believe you had nothing to do with Kudo finding out about the movie, either." It wasn't a question.

"I don't expect you to believe anything. It's a matter of what you can prove." The Brit informed him from his seat in a rather comfy-looking chair, holding onto a small bag of popcorn from which he was munching contently.

Pause.

Hattori's eye twitched.

"Popcorn?" He offered with complete nonchalance. Hattori wisely decided to ignore the question of where Hakuba had pulled the popcorn from in the last thirty seconds.

"Shouldn't we...y'know...stop him? I mean, I get that it's Kid and all, but Kudo would never forgive himself if he actually KILLED him."

"Oh, don't worry," Hakuba casually replied. "It doesn't fire rockets."

"Eh?" Hattori blinked and turned back to the action.

Kid dropped to the ground and covered his head; his eyes clenched shut as he waited for the inevitable.

Conan fired.

Hakuba smirked.

And Hattori stared. "...Oh."

After a few moments, Kid realized that he was not dead—nor was he blown up into tiny little Kid-pieces. But something must have hit him, as he felt a weight on his head and back. Moving his arms, he tried to grab at the weight—a difficult task due to the lack of sight and the slipperiness of the item, but he finally succeeded. Lifting it off his back, he pulled it around in front of him to see what it was.

And proceeded to have a mental breakdown.

"F-f-f-f-f-FISH!" He flung the scaly monstrosity away from himself and screamed—shut up, no he did not—before running away, a raging Conan chasing after him brandishing a particularly large fish like a club.

"This isn't FAIR!" Kid shouted as he ran. And he had a point...taking his fear of fish-based weaponry from the last chapter was probably a low blow from Conan, but then again, Kid IS a thief.

"Come back here and die like a man!"

Hattori smacked his forehead. Hakuba continued munching on popcorn and enjoying the show.

"What's going on in here?"

Hattori spun around to face the newcomer and brightened. "Ran! Thank goodness you're here! Maybe you can put a stop to this!"

Hearing Hattori's exclamation, the others in the room turned to see her as well. Conan actually stopped trying to attack Kaito for a moment and Kaito took advantage of that moment to scoot further away from the distracted child, looking to Ran hopefully from behind the safety of an overturned coffee table. Surely she would straighten things out.

Ran blinked. "Stop to what? Why are Conan and Kid fighting?" Aside from the usual reasons they'd be fighting, of course.

Hattori shook his head. "Ran, could you just tell them that you didn't have any love affair with Kid so they'll calm down?"

Ran blushed. "Oh, THAT." She clasped her hands to her cheeks, turning away, her blush darkening.

Everyone froze.

Conan saw red.

Kid, however, saw his life flashing before his eyes. "N-now now, Tantei-kun...don't do something you'll regret..."

"Omae o korosu!"

"OHGODWHY?!"

And thus the chase began again. With more fish-based weapons of mass destruction and screams—he does NOT scream like a little girl, dammit!—from Kid.

Hattori stared at the girl, jaw opened in shock. "RAN!"

"Hey, one heard my confession about him and LIED to me for the equivalent of 15 years, and the other pretended to be the guy I liked as part of a plot to steal a jewel. I think I deserve this."

"She's got a point." Hakuba nodded.

"Shut up, Hakuba."

"WHY ISN'T SOMEONE STOPPING THIS?!"

**Detective Conan Movie:**

**The Lost Ship In The Sky**

**Coming this April!**


	6. Shaken, Not Stirred

Request from RAGA: Can you do a chapter in which Kaito finds out just how scary Ai can be.

Yes, yes I can. It only took me about four months, but I finally came out with a version I could be happy with.

**Shaken, Not Stirred**

When most people wake up, it's to the annoyingly loud buzzing of an alarm clock or the screams of angry parents trying to get their kids up in time for school.

When Kid woke up that morning, it was in a rather uncomfortable position with a pounding headache and a distinctly odd taste in his mouth. Knockout gas? He couldn't be certain. But while curious about these interesting circumstances, he most certainly was not panicking, even though the room he was in looked like something out of a mad scientist's laboratory. There were no windows, no possible escape route other than a very large and intimidating steel door.

But he did not panic. He wasn't an internationally infamous phantom thief and magician for nothing, after all. And as the Kaitou Kid, he'd certainly had his share of strange and disturbing experiences. It would hardly be the first time he'd woken up in an unfamiliar location.

Though the whole 'strapped to a metal table' part was new. It gave the indication as though he were some sort of experiment about to be dissected.

His hands and feet were held to the table through use of thick metal cuffs. Several quick tugs at his restraints made it clear that he wasn't about to slip out of these anytime soon.

'Stay calm, Kaito.' He told himself, taking a slow breath and re-establishing Poker Face. 'You have plenty of time. Just take a minute and think. What happened?'

Going back over his memory, he made a mental checklist of what he remembered before waking up in this place. He remembered the heist. He remembered yet another game of 'Dogpile on the Bandit'—always fun, especially when it left Nakamori and his men glued to the floor. He remembered grabbing the jewel—right out of Hakuba's hand, too, which was particularly funny. He didn't get the chance to encounter Tantei-kun, though, which was a little disappointing, but probably for the best as he had run into Snake and his goons on the roof when he was trying to make his escape. They had their guns at the ready, even took one of the little detective's equally little friends hostage and...

Oh yeah, he was shot.

He winced, the reminder finally bringing the dull ache in his chest to his attention. He wanted to check the area he was pretty sure he'd been hit at, but couldn't do more than lift his head to see his jacket, cape, shirt, and tie missing and replaced with bandages. He could see some red from the blood, but they were still fairly clean, so at least he wouldn't have to worry about any infection.

That did beg the question as to where he was, though. And how he got there.

Thinking back, he couldn't remember much after getting shot—which was probably a good thing as the pain would have been excruciating and definitely not a part of the night he'd want to recall.

He did manage to recall some hazy images before he blacked out from pain and blood loss, though. There was one of Snake smirking at him—the evil bastard. There was one of the hostage—that one friend of Tantei-kun's who was just as strange as the way too intelligent boy detective in her own creepy way. He could have sworn he saw her pull something out of her coat pocket that glinted from the few lights scattered around the rooftop. Then the last thing he could remember was someone screaming, though he couldn't tell who—he hoped the girl was okay...

As if on cue, the steel door opened and in stepped the subject of his now proven needless concern.

Ai entered the room, looking not just a little like some sort of mad scientist bent on world domination—what with her cool and aloof manner. She was even carrying a furry white cat to complete the ensemble. Kid rather thought it was cute.

Or would be if he weren't currently being held captive in a situation like something out of one of those James Bond movies.

"So, you're awake." Ai greeted, walking over to the table and peering at him.

Uncertain, Kid frowned at her with eyes narrowed in suspicion.

She gave him a small smirk before turning to a worktable some feet from his position. "Relax, you're safe. I'm just going to see to your injuries." She explained, setting the kitty down as she rummaged through some of the materials laid out.

That made sense, or it would if it weren't for his current position. "And the reason for strapping me to a table...?"

"You're an internationally famous thief constantly running from the law. I had to make sure you'd stay in one place long enough for me to make sure you're healed." She gave him a dry look. "Knowing you, you'd have run off the instant you woke up, even with a bullet still inside you."

Well, he couldn't say she was wrong. It was slightly disturbing how well she could read him, though that probably came from all the time she spent with Tantei-kun. He could understand her logic, and at least she wasn't calling the police on him. But there was still one issue left over from his memories of the previous night...

"What happened to Snake and the others?"

Ai continued working with her back to him. "You don't need to worry about them."

Kid frowned. Of course he had to worry! "Look, those were some very bad people you met last night, and if they even think that you have anything to do with me, you'll be in big danger! There's no telling—" He cut off when she turned to face him, the cat back in her arms.

The now very awake cat.

Which hissed at him, glaring angrily with steel gray eyes.

Very familiar gray eyes that he had last seen on the person who had shot him just the night before.

Kid blinked once, twice, then stared some more before his gaze slowly rose to meet the gaze on Ai's overly self-satisfied face.

He gulped once, his Poker Face actually starting to fail him.

"The results weren't quite what I expected, but this version WAS rather far from the usual prototypes I've managed to create so far and I've been curious to see what it would do for quite some time now. And while Edogawa has been a most helpful guinea pig at times, I'm certainly not about to test EVERY concoction I've come up with on him." A corner of her mouth twitched up. "So our little 'encounter' last night actually turned out to be quite beneficial. For me at least."

Kid stared.

"The Detective Boys are currently looking for good homes for the others, but I find myself a bit attached to this one. Snake, you said?" Ai looked at the white cat curiously. "I think I'm going to name him Mr. Snuggles."

The cat hissed at her, outraged.

Kid gaped at her in complete horror.

"What in the world ARE you?!"

Then Ai smiled at him. A very creepy, very sinister smile that should never be found on any seven year old's face.

"I'm just a pretty little girl."

Forget Poker Face. This was too messed up that the damn thing had long since broken and the shattered remnants had run off in sheer terror. Hell, Akako had NOTHING on this!

"Now, lets check on your injuries and in the meantime, perhaps you and I can have a nice little 'chat'."

He gulped, nervously, before building up his courage. "Do you expect me to talk?"

Ai chuckled, darkly. "No, Mr. Kid, I expect you to CRY."

Kid whimpered.

**Omake:**

"Not the iodine! NOT THE IODINE! Burn the germs off with a torch, amputate my arm, but not the—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

Confused, but not deterred, Conan opened the door to Ai's lab.

"Hey, Haibara, have you seen—" Conan cut off, frozen in shock when he got a good look of the scene within the room.

Ai looked up at him from her position at Kid's arm, innocently. "Did you need something, Edogawa-kun?"

"Help...me..." Kid pleaded.

Conan stared.

Blinked once...

Twice...

...Then promptly turned around and walked right back out without a word.


	7. Shaken, Not Stirred: Part 2

Oh SURE, I see how it is. When I actually try to write out the commission, you all abandon me, but the instant I finally FINISH it, you suddenly pop up again! Stupid plot bunnies...giving me ideas when I don't need them...

...For the record, I blame RAGA. And Zeynel.

This continuation's for you both.

**Shaken, Not Stirred: Part 2**

About a week and a half after being released from Ai's 'care' with a clean bill of health and in need of some serious therapy, Kaito returned to his detective friends (wait—they were friends?) with an important warning to impart.

"She's evil! EVIL, I TELL YOU!"

Said "friends", sadly, were not taking his warning as seriously as he felt they should.

"Kuroba, she's SEVEN. How could she POSSIBLY do everything that you claimed?"

"Actually—" Hattori spoke up, but quickly quieted down from the warning glare Conan gave him. Hakuba gave the Osakan a strange look before turning back to the magician.

"Anyway, you're taking this joke of yours too far. I've seen you pull off some crazy things, Kuroba, but trying to accuse a little girl of taking out a group of heavily armed men and turning them into furry house pets is a bit much. Even for you." He sighed, shaking his head. "Honestly, I don't even see the point in this prank."

"It's NOT a prank!" Kaito exclaimed, waving his arms around dramatically to enunciate the point. "She's got a secret lab and everything!"

"How would you know this?" Hattori asked.

"It's where she locked me up for over a week!"

"Why would she lock YOU up? Were you at the KID heist?" Hakuba questioned, giving a small smirk at the slip that further proved his 'Kuroba is KID' theory.

"That's BESIDES the point!" He looked imploringly to Hattori. "Tell me you believe me! You're good at reading people! You should know!"

Hattori rubbed the back of his neck, unsure. "Well...Ai is pretty mature for her age." No kidding. "But still, cats? That's a bit much."

"Try 'impossible'." Hakuba retorted. "You can't transform a human being into a smaller creature. It just doesn't happen."

Hattori coughed in an attempt to hold back laughter and Conan's eye twitched, but both wisely chose not to comment on the matter.

"But it DID!"

"Did you actually see it?" Conan asked him.

Kaito slumped. "Well, no...but she all but outright admitted to it!"

"A confession?" Hattori asked, curiously. "She actually said 'I turned them into cats' or did she just make vague statements that could possibly allude to it?"

Kaito's shoulders drooped even further. "Well...kinda, yeah..."

Hakuba shook his head. "She's simply a child. From the sounds of it, she was likely just playing games in order to get a rise out of you. And it worked." He gave Kaito a disappointed look. "I'm surprised that a trickster of your caliber fell for it."

"But then where did she get the cats?"

"There are a number of cats in this city, plenty of which are just wandering around. She and those other friends of hers probably just found some and she's keeping them until something else can be arranged. Is that it, Edogawa?" Hattori looked down to the bespectacled boy.

Conan nodded, smiling in a way an actual child would. "Ai's the only one of us who is able to house them, so the rest of the Shonen Tantei are all trying to find homes for them now!"

That of course, didn't answer the question of where they had gotten the cats in the first place, as they were simply there one day when the children had visited Agasa's house. But given that it WAS Ai they were talking about, there was surely some rational explanation for their sudden appearance.

"Then what about the bad guys who were holding her hostage? Where'd they disappear to?"

"Well, since they ARE 'bad guys', odds are they escaped." Saguru explained.

"And just let her go?"

"Well, what would they want with her, anyway?" Conan questioned. "She could just attract attention."

"Besides," Hattori added. "You're the only one who has even claimed there were any criminals there. No one else saw anything and Ai hasn't said anything about being held hostage, either."

"Given that no one else has spoken up about it and knowing your personality and tendency for pranks, I can only conclude that this was simply a bad attempt at a prank on your part." Hakuba nodded, set in his decision. "And even if you were right and there WERE criminals holding her hostage at the heist, here is simply no way a child could have taken down her captor, much less an entire group of them."

Conan rolled his eyes at that, but again chose not to comment.

"But...but..." Kaito whined, unable to make out any other points that wouldn't also reveal his identity as Kid to his longtime stalker-slash-nemesis.

"Give it up already, Kuroba. Your trick never would have worked." Hakuba scoffed. "What was your plan, anyway? Trying to make us paranoid of a child so we would investigate and you could turn us in for stalking?"

That was actually a very good idea for a prank, Kaito realized. It was a shame that he couldn't try it out, and even more disappointing in that he was actually TRYING to be serious here. "That's not it at ALL!"

"I've met the girl. She's simply mature for her age." Saguru reasoned. "Besides, if you're going to make such claims about her, how is she all that different from Edogawa-san, here? Are you going to claim HE'S the result of one of her 'experiments', too?"

Conan choked. That had hit just a tad bit too close to the mark.

"I hate to say it, but I have to agree with him." Hattori told Kaito, nodding towards Hakuba and trying to bring attention away from Conan. "I mean, Ai's capable of a lot of things..." Such as turning people into children, but it was probably better not to mention that part. "But turning killers into cats? That just doesn't seem possible."

"Fine! But don't come 'meow-ing' to me when she goes for YOU next!" Kaito warned.

"Whatever. This has gotten old, so I'm just going to take my leave now." Hakuba said, getting to his feet and heading for the door, leaving a stricken-looking Kaito behind.

"Yeah, I've got to head out, too. Thanks, Kuroba. This was kinda fun...in a weird, crazy sorta way." Hattori waved and moved to follow the other outside.

With the two older detectives having made their exit, Kaito looked desperately to the one lifeline he had left to prove his sanity. "Tantei-kun, that girl is evil! Tell me you know this! You're the only one I can really accept as something like an equal—don't take that from me!"

The bespectacled boy shook his head, sighing. "Seriously, you and your delusions. 'Ai is evil and turns people into cats.' 'Akako's a witch trying to make me her love slave.' 'Conan's gonna reap us of our very souls.'"

"But it's tru—"Kid froze, confused. "Wait—I only think that last one out of fear of you and the tendency for people to be mysteriously murdered when you're around. I've never said it out loud."

"Oh, I reap souls AND secrets." Conan shrugged, nonchalantly. "How do you think I make such a great detective?"

He then walked away, appearing oblivious to the way Kaito's eyes widened and his pupils shrunk to tiny dots in sheer horror.

**Omake:**

Ai entered the room to see Conan watching television. "Hey, Kudo?"

"Yeah?"

"Any reason why Kuroba is in the other room curled up in a fetal position on the floor and muttering about evil children, cats, and the taking of souls?"

"Oh, he just freaked out earlier and started spouting crazy talk about how you experimented on the guys trying to kill him at the KID heists and turned them into cats. Pay him no mind."

"..."

"..."

"...Kudo, you do know I actually DID turn them into cats, right?"

Oh, he knew. But he was simply too grateful over not being her chosen guinea pig this time around to really care.

Meanwhile, in the other room, Kaito finally regained some semblance of control and shakily pushed himself to his feet.

"I know! I'll break into her lab and find evidence of her work! That'll prove I'm not crazy!" He then began to laugh in a creepy, maniacal way that didn't do much to convince anyone who heard it that he wasn't.

The fact that the kids caught him breaking into Ai's lab while humming the theme to Mission Impossible a few days later probably didn't help, either.


	8. Rules Were Made To Be Broken

AN: Yeah...you guys are gonna hate me for this one.

My first serious drabble to be posted in this drabble series. And it ends on a cliffhanger with little likelihood of being continued. Because I'm evil like that. Or lazy. Either or.

**Rules Were Made To Be Broken**

_Kaitou Kid wasn't your ordinary Phantom Thief._

_He had rules._

_But there were two in particular he held more highly than any other._

Something was wrong.

Everything had gone according to plan. He was able to get the jewel and escape Nakamori's men. It was a bit disappointing that Tantei-kun wasn't there, though, which he found slightly odd as he had made sure to try for this target when it was brought to the area just so he could challenge the small detective again. He had shrugged it off, though, figuring the boy must be ill or otherwise busy. Tantei-kun WAS a rather brilliant detective, after all, and there were a number of cases more disturbing and fatal than his heists. Kid sighed, somewhere between bemusement and annoyance, figuring he'd handled the heist just fine without the pint-sized detective. He'll just have to get him back later, he thought with a grin.

But he soon got the feeling that something horrible had happened that night.

He first noticed it when the cheers for his escape and the excited babble of the crowd died down sooner than it should have. He didn't give it much thought, though, since he was a bit busy trying to lose the police cars following him.

But then those cars suddenly stopped and turned around, leaving him quite confused. He was still in sight and they actually had a decent range on him, so it should have taken a bit more maneuvering on his part before they gave up and turned back. They must have been ordered to return. But why?

Something had to have happened and being the curious phantom thief he was, Kaito decided to go back and find out what. After all, he was the internationally wanted Kaitou Kid. What else was going on tonight that could be more important than his heist?

He soon arrived back at the scene of the crime disguised as one of the returning officers to find no excited crowds, no Nakamori raging about having lost to Kid yet again, and no tired and messy but otherwise jovial and amused task force members.

Instead, the mood was somber and tense. The crowd of bystanders watched and whispered to one another with a sense of anxiousness and fear permeating the atmosphere. The Kid task force members were silent and clearly on edge. And Nakamori...

Kid couldn't help the shudder that overtook him then.

He'd never actually been more scared of the task force leader than he was at that moment. Nakamori wasn't raging and yelling and kicking up a fuss over details like he normally would. Instead, he was standing tall, snapping out orders—quietly, but also coldly. And that look on his face...it was almost as though he could kill someone. No, he'd never seen Nakamori like this—not even when Akako used her magic to control him that one time...and it worried him.

"What happened?"

Somehow, he was scared to find out...

_No one dies._

_No one gets hurt._

"Get in there, brat."

A fair distance away, at what should have been an abandoned building, a man in black dragged a bespectacled boy through a doorway and shoved him into a decrepit room. There were no windows or exits other than the large steel door he had just entered from, and there was only one other occupant, who had jumped up in alarm when the door had been slammed open and rushed to the boy's side before he could hit the ground.

"Just do as you're told, and no one gets hurt. After all," The man Kid knew as 'Snake' gave the two an evil leer, "we're going to be putting that brilliant mind of yours to work soon enough."

Quickly regaining his balance, Conan spun around and angrily glared up at the man as he walked out the door, wanting nothing more than to kick something at the bastard's head. But he couldn't, he wearily reminded himself as the sound of the door being shut and bolted seemed to echo throughout the small, dark space. He was prevented from doing anything by the shaking hand firmly grasping his which helped to remind him that he wasn't the only one at risk here. Remembering the other unfortunate captive, he looked up at the older girl in worry.

"Nee-san?"

With Snake and his flunkies gone and the two of them alone for the moment in the dark, musty room, the teenager dropped to her knees, letting go of his hand to cover her face as she tried her hardest not to cry. She wanted to be strong. Her dad had worked with the police in a number of crimes and she had dealt with some difficult situations because of it...but it was never like this. Those monsters...they had shot a man—an officer who had only been unfortunate enough to stumble across the kidnapping and attempt to protect them. Was he still alive? She didn't know. There had been so much blood...

She clenched her fists. She was strong and always had been...so why was it so hard now? She was older. She was the one who should be strong for the both of them. Conan needed her. She kept telling herself this to stave off the tears, only to fail miserably.

The boy watched her sadly, stepping closer and resting a hand on her arm.

"Nee-san, are you all right?"

Inwardly, he cursed himself for asking such an inane question. Of course she wasn't all right.

But it got her attention and caused her to tilt her head back up to face him eye to eye. He smiled, weakly, trying to assure her for what little good it did.

It only made her feel worse, though. It wasn't fair, but she couldn't help it that she seemed to be relying more on him. It was just so easy to let him take charge. But he was just a child. A smart child, but a child nonetheless. He shouldn't have been dragged into this situation. Nor should he have to be the one carrying the burden of their lives. But those men had made it clear he was the one they wanted. And as for her? She was just collateral to make sure he stayed in line. She was...expendable. Images flashed in her mind of the officer, lying unmoving on the concrete as the two of them were forced into a van and taken away. She tried not to gag at the memory. Reaching out, she wrapped her arms around Conan and held him close, gaining just as much—if not more comfort from him as she was trying to give.

"Don't worry, nee-san." The small boy whispered to her. "It'll be okay."

Aoko only sobbed and clutched him tighter.

_But his rules were broken that night..._

_And there was no way he was going to let them get away with it..._

* * *

AN: Yeah...no omake. Instead, we get to read a short PLOT!

I initially got this idea from Heavy Silences by blinkblink, a DC/MK fic where the kids and assorted family members of all the Task Force members were kidnapped by the Black Org in order to force Kid's capture. In this fic, the Task Force went to Kid for help and Kid in turn went to Conan. I rather liked this story, but it made me wonder: what if Conan was one of the hostages? That just added all SORTS of new dimensions to the issue.

Thus this plunny was born. The guys trying to off Kid aren't getting anywhere, so they decide to get someone who can match the thief to help them deal with Kid AND find Pandora. That someone happens to be none other than Kid's greatest rival in the form of a seven-year-old detective, Conan. The day of the heist, they manage to kidnap him. Unfortunately, Aoko is there when it happens and tries to stop them. Either simply because she's there or because they mistake her for Ran, they bring her along as an insurance to force Conan to comply with their demands. Then Kid finds out that his rival AND his best friend have been kidnapped—though he doesn't know which one was the main target and for what reason.

Needless to say, he's...kinda ticked. And worse yet, this means Kid's gonna have to play detective and try to save them both without said rival figuring out his identity. Or either of the other teen detectives, because you just KNOW they're gonna be involved.

So this is going to be all KINDS of fun! Of course, that's if I continue with this plot thread, which likely won't happen. :P


	9. Joy and Rapture

AN: It seems that some of you-and by "some", I mean "just about everyone who reviewed the previous chapter-liked the plot I came up with and want to see a continuation. This is, of course, despite how horribly dark and serious and dramatic the premise is. And that if I DO continue it, bad things are going to happen. Certain characters will die, someone is already slated to be mentally traumatized, and at least two people you know and love are going to be driven to the edge. And not the "cool" edge, but the one that drops into the chasm of insanity and murder. But I get what you're really after. Face it, you just want to see a hurt Conan. You horrible, horrible people, you.

To those of you who want to see the previous drabble continued: We are currently undergoing negotiations with the Plot Bunny Gods for the safe return of my video games and manga. Your reviews will be included in our payments to appease them and spare us their horrible wrath.

To those of you who want to use the idea from the previous drabble: Feel free to come up with your own version. We don't get enough Kid and Conan VS the Black Org fics. Especially not many where one or both are captured. Even less so that are still continued.

In the meantime, this drabble is the result of a combination of too much Detective Conan and video games. And not just ANY video games, but a CERTAIN video game. It was bound to get crossed over with DC sooner or later.

**Joy and Rapture**

"'It's just a CRUISE, Kuroba'."

"Shut up."

"It'll be FUN, Kuroba'."

"Shut UP!"

"I TOLD you we should have stayed on the boat. But nooOOoo. 'You're just being PARANOID, Kuroba. It's only a creepy lighthouse in the middle of the ocean. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?'"

"ALL RIGHT! I get it!" Hakuba huffed, annoyed—though whether it was because of Kaito pointing out his mistaken judgement or because he did so perfectly in Hakuba's own voice was still to be determined. "So my earlier statements were less accurate than I originally believed. But this was an official investigation! You didn't HAVE to come with us, you know."

"And where would you be if I HADN'T? You're just lucky I decided to tag along or that...THING would have gotten you as well!"

"Hey!" Hattori interrupted, annoyed. "Do you think you two can fight later? We've got to save Ku-Conan and the other kids!"

Oh, that's right. The missing children. Reminded of their purpose, the two sent dirty looks to one another, but remained silent and focused on their task.

"Fine."

"Fine."

Hattori frowned at the two, but nodded. "Good."

"Where are we, anyway?" Kaito wondered.

"Weren't you paying attention earlier?"

"Of course I was! But that doesn't explain how we got from a lighthouse in the middle of the ocean to...what ever place we are in now."

"Apparently, the elevator we took in the lighthouse is the entrance this underwater city." Hakuba noted.

Kaito gulped. "Underwater...yeah..."

"You okay, Kaito?" Hattori asked.

"F-fine! Just fine!" Just as long as the fish stay on the other side of the glass, he'd be A-OK.

"They call this place 'Rapture'." Hakuba noted. "Looks like a mess now, though."

"Yeah. How did they manage to build a city under the sea, anyway?"

The three paused.

"Nevermind that, what do they want with those kids?" Hattori questioned, frowning.

"Well, do you remember that thing that attacked us and took Edogawa?" Hakuba reminded them. "And those...people..."

Kaito nodded. They weren't fish-people or anything, but they were still terrifying. "Yeah. What happened to them? It was like they weren't...human or...some...thing..." He trailed off.

The three glanced between each other as disturbing thoughts came to mind.

Hattori immediately broke into a run. "Don't worry, Kudo! We're comin' for ya'!" Hattori shouted as he ran ahead.

Hakuba and Kaito stared at his retreating form.

Hakuba blinked.

"Kudo? Did Kudo disappear here, too?"

Kaito shrugged.

They heard something crash behind them. Slowly, fearfully, the two turned around.

A little girl was staring up at them, curiously. She looked cute enough, though a bit dirty and her dress was worn. But despite her appearance, she seemed quite innocent.

With the possible exception of the glowing eyes. And the very large needle she was carrying.

Kaito's eyes widened.

Hakuba, however stepped forward and smiled kindly, ignoring the creepy glowing eyes that stared up at him from a dirty face. "Well, hello there."

"Are you angels?" The little girl asked in wonder.

Hakuba blinked. "Well...I've never been called that before."

Kaito gripped the Brit's sleeve, tugging at it a bit. "Hakuba..."

He was ignored. "What is a child doing in this place? Are you lost?"

Tug. "Hakuba..."

"Miss, it's very dangerous here and you could get hurt."

Tug, tug. "Hakuba."

"Where did you come from? Are you alone here?"

Tuuug. "Hakubaaa!"

"WHAT?"

It was then he realized that Kaito wasn't looking at the creepy little girl. He was looking a bit to the left and past the creepy girl to where he noticed a strange yellow light approaching.

To strange light coming from the hulking figure making its way towards them.

The hulking figure that he just now realized was wearing something not entirely unlike a deep-sea diving suit with a very, VERY large drill in its hand.

Hakuba's eyes grew impossibly wide. "Oh."

"Mr. Bubbles!"

The light on its helmet flashed to red and the thing roared, the arm drill powering up with a high pitched shriek.

"OH GOD!"

"RUN!"

Screw the fish! If they survived this, Kaito was never coming within fifty feet of the ocean ever again!

Meanwhile, with Conan...

"Yay! A new friend!"

Conan stood shock still, not daring to do much more than smile at the dirty little girl with the creepy glowing eyes as the hulking figure in the deep-sea diving suit affectionately watched over its charge in silence.

The little girl grabbed his hand. "Lets go play!" She insisted as she started tugging on his hand.

Any protests he had died with a quick glance up at the Big Daddy, which he could almost swear was growling at him from beneath its helmet at the slightest sign of hesitation on his part.

Conan gulped.

'What have I gotten into?'

**OMAKE**

Elsewhere, in another place and time that may or may not have anything to do with the drabble above...

Gin smirked, gun pointed at Ai. "I've finally found you, Sherry."

"So you have."

"It looks like the end of the line."

"It sure does."

"Any last words?"

"Yes, actually. I'd like you to meet my friend."

There was a flash of red light as something growled.

"Mr. Bubbles, meet Gin."

STOMP!

"...What...?"

STOMP! STOMP!

"Gin, meet Mr. Bubbles."

GROWL!

"What the hell IS THAT THING?"

A high-pitched shriek of metal.

"And his drill."

"—What dri—OH GOD!"

ROAR!

"Mr. Bubbles is just a little bit overprotective."

CRASH!

"HOLY SHI—!"

A scream.

"And he doesn't like potty mouths."

A grin.

AN: And that's what would happen if Ai ever had a Big Daddy.

And that's why Bioshock and Detective Conan should probably NEVER be mixed. Ah well, too late now.


	10. Finding Pandora: RESONANCE CASCADE

AN: And here we go! The first "Kid finds Pandora" drabble. Too bad nothing can ever be easy for our heroes. Especially with me writing the plots.

Today's drabble brought to you by the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. Please enjoy the fic, as free cake and therapy will be served upon completion of the story.

**Finding Pandora: RESONANCE CASCADE**

Finally, after all this time...Kid had finally managed to locate Pandora.

Or at least, he THOUGHT it was Pandora. He was certain the legends never mentioned anything like THIS, but he REALLY didn't want to consider the possibility of there being more jewels out there with unnatural properties.

Especially if they were ANYTHING like this one.

"DAMMIT, Kid! What the HELL did you DO?"

"I don't know! I DON'T KNOW!"

"Just FIX IT already!" Nakamori shouted, trying to hold himself back from strangling the thief. No, murder is not in his best interest right now—no matter how much the thief deserved it. Besides, strangling the thief would mean letting go of the door, and the persistent unnatural screeching on the other side told him that was definitely something he did not want to do.

"Hey, shouting at me isn't going to make this go any faster!" Kid retorted, grumpily.

"This is all YOUR fault!" The officer insisted. "If you hadn't gone after that DAMNED jewel, none of this would have happened!"

"Oh come on! How was I supposed to know it would do THIS?" Honestly, he just stole the gems; he didn't know how they worked! Or that they even DID work! Usually gems just sparkled in the sunlight like crappy wannabe vampires.

"Could you two maybe argue later?" Hakuba requested from his position next to Nakamori, surprisingly the calm one in this situation. "When we're not in mortal danger?"

Nakamori grumbled, but otherwise didn't argue.

Aoko watched Kid try to mess with the jewel, broom in hand—though it was uncertain whether it was intended for use on Kid if he should try to get away or for protection from whatever those fanged lumps of flesh just outside were. Knowing Aoko, it was probably both. "Have you found anything yet?" She asked him.

"I'm trying everything I can, but this stupid thing WON'T WORK." Though how the hell he was supposed to get a jewel to 'work' was questionable. It's not like it had BUTTONS or anything—but then there should have been no reason for it to start causing all this chaos, either.

Curious, Aoko stepped closer to survey the gem and nodded, thoughtfully. "Well, this explains a lot."

"What does?"

"That jewel you're holding. It started all this, right?" Aoko asked.

Kid blinked. "Yeah?"

"Well, it's not whole. See?" She pointed to one of the edges of the jewel where, sure enough, there was a rough, jagged edge on one side as opposed to the entirely smooth, round curve the jewel was supposed to have.

Everyone stared.

"Come to think of it," Hakuba reasoned. "Didn't this whole mess start when you dropped the jewel after Edogawa kicked that soccer ball at you?"

Kid sheepishly rubbed the back of his head at that. "Yeah..."

"Then where's the other part?" Nakamori demanded, angry and worried. He didn't like the thought of helping Kid get the jewel, but right now, he was willing to accept losing again to the thief over this continued nightmare.

Hakuba frowned, thinking hard. "Didn't Edogawa go running off in a different direction than you, Kid?"

Kid nodded, remembering. "Yeah. I thought it was strange, since I figured he'd be going after the jewel to get it before I could..."

Everyone froze.

Aoko looked around at the three worried faces. "You think that boy has the other part?"

The answer was obvious.

"Most likely."

"So then if we find him, we should find the jewel with him." Hakuba reasoned.

"Okay, but where is he?" The leader of the Task Force demanded. Stupid kids, always getting in the way...

The British detective frowned, trying to think. "I think I saw him running down the hall heading towards the east wing of the building. The security office should be there. It would be a safe place to hide and even if he's not there, we could use the equipment to keep track of everything else going on in the building. We should be able to find him with it." He nodded, resolute. "We just have to reach it."

"To the east wing?" Nakamori asked.

"Yes."

"From the west wing, where we currently are?"

"I will admit it is dangerous, but we cannot sit around doing nothing. If we are cautious and stick to the side passages, we should be able to defend ourselves and make it through to the other side—"

Hakuba was cut off by a grate flying across the room as small, pink crab-like creature skittered out and attempted to leap at him.

Aoko stepped in and swatted the thing away with a broom, and then proceeded to beat it severely while it lay helplessly belly-up on the ground.

The men sweatdropped at that. Their nervousness only increased when what sounded like more electrical surges, gunfire, screams, and screeching could be heard in the hall just on the other side of the door. And is that barking sound the police dogs? It really didn't sound right...

Something crashed into a pillar in the hallway and growled.

Yeah...DEFINITELY didn't sound like the police dogs...

"You mean through all THAT?" Nakamori deadpanned.

Hakuba paled. "Y...yeah..."

Pause.

"So..." Nakamori proceeded to turn to the others. "Whatever's out there appears to be capable of taking out armed officers...what are the odds a little kid made it through?"

Kid chuckled nervously. "I'm sure Tantei-kun's perfectly all right. After all, he's with Tantei-han."

Another, much longer pause followed.

Hakuba coughed. "We should probably hurry."

**OMAKE**

"We just need to figure out how it happened and reverse it so we can..." Conan suddenly cut off, staring blankly at the cap-wearing teen. "...Hattori?"

"Yes?"

"What is that?"

"What's what?"

"That thing. On your head."

"Oh, this little guy?" Hattori asked, picking the creature off his head and holding it out. "This is Lamarr. Isn't she cute?"

Conan stared.

"Hattori...I'm pretty sure that's the thing that's been eating people and turning them into zombies."

Hattori blinked. "Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Oh."

Another pause.

"Hattori?"

"Yeah, Kudo?"

"How do you know it's a girl?"

AN: Half-Life crossover! Because it gets no love and I just can.

Oh, and the cake is a lie.


	11. Rules Were Made To Be Broken: Part 2

AN: To those confused about the cake quote in the previous chapter, it's a reference to a game called "Portal", which exists in the same universe as Half-Life.

Now that that's answered, onto buisness:

A lot of you insisted on a continuation of chapter 8. So here's a sneak peek at what will likely happen down the line if I continued along this plot thread and just what will make it a horrible, horrible story.

...And why I will be in hiding until I feel I can safely post again. I would just like to remind all of you that although I don't have much else planned to write out into this plunny, I can't potentially add anything in the future to resolve this plot if I'm not alive to type it out. Just an fyi in hopes that none of you will try to hunt me down.

So enjoy it while you read...then gasp in horror and send me reviews of RAEG when you reach the end. I'll be laughing from the safety of my shelter.

Just remember, I DID warn you back in chapter 8.

**Rules Were Made To Be Broken: Part 2**

Step...

Step...

Step...

Just keep walking.

Step...

Step...

Right...

Left...

Right again...

One foot in front of the other. Just like her mother taught her when she was first learning how to walk.

She faltered.

She missed her mother.

She wished her mom was there. She would have known what to do.

Her mother would have...

_Don't think about it!_

...

She shakily forced another foot forward. Have to keep moving.

Right...

Just keep moving.

Left...

Keep walking forward.

Right...

Don't stop.

Left...

Don't stop until you get there.

Right...

...Get where?

She blinked, suddenly faltering in her steps again.

Where was she going?

She finally looked up from her feet to take in her surroundings.

Oh, it was night already?

She came to a stop, looking skyward.

That's right. The Kid heist ended. Of course it's late.

She chuckled to herself.

Silly Aoko, need to keep better track of time. Dad would be furious if she stayed out too late...but then again, he's probably still at the heist, ranting over his failure to catch Kid this time and trying to organize the cleanup.

Poor Dad. You'll get him next time.

But for now, she needed to get home. She could try and fix something so he'd have a warm meal waiting for him when he finally finished work.

Fish might be nice...

"...ko?"

She started walking again, forming ideas for what to make.

Maybe chicken? They might still have some of the teriyaki left. And they should still have plenty of rice in the—

"Aoko!"

Suddenly, two hands grabbed her arms and spun her around. She gasped and was about to scream.

"AOKO!"

She blinked. Oh. She took a breath, calming down. What was Kaito doing here?

"Aoko! Are you okay?"

Of course she was okay. She was just walking home. Stupid Kaito, trying to scare her.

"Are you hurt?"

Hurt? Why would she be hurt? He was the one shouting and making a scene.

"Hurt?" She felt a bit surprised at the sound of her voice, though she couldn't understand why. She only now realized how sore her throat was. Funny, it didn't feel this way earlier. She would make sure to drink some water when she got home. "No. Why would I be?" Her throat felt dry and scratchy. She hoped she wasn't catching something.

Now he was giving her a strange look. What was wrong with him? His face was really pale and he seemed frazzled. His face was smudged with something...dirt? Were those scratches on his face and arms? Did he fall? It took her a couple seconds to notice how sweaty his palms were. He was also breathing heavily. What was wrong? Was he sick?

"Aoko..." Kaito spoke slowly, his voice low and calm. "You disappeared after the Kid heist."

Disappeared? What was he talking about? The idiot had better stop joking. She wasn't falling for another one of his pranks.

"You've been missing for weeks now."

Weeks? That couldn't be right. She had just left the heist. It wasn't that long ago, right?

...Right?

She frowned, trying to think back...but everything seemed a bit fuzzy and her head twinged with pain. What happened after she started home? She furrowed her brow in confusion. She felt she was forgetting something.

Dammit. Her head hurt. It was hard to concentrate. And Kaito kept right on talking. Stupid Kaito. Shut up and let her think for a minute.

"—and your dad wouldn't say anything! What happened? Where were you?"

She blinked again, slowly. Where had she been? She couldn't say. She knew she had been somewhere, she just couldn't recall the name...

"Aoko." Kaito looked really upset. She'd never seen him so serious. Was he really that worried? She didn't mean to make him feel bad. "Aoko, what happened?"

That's what she was trying to remember, Bakaito. If you'd just give her a minute to think...

"Come on, lets get you to your house." The teen magician cajoled her, not waiting for a response as he took her hand and starting to gently lead her towards what she assumed would be her home. Home seemed really nice right now. She just wanted to go to bed and sleep this off. Maybe she'd feel better in the morning? But she needed to know...something...right?

She followed the direction he pulled her in, still trying to make sense of things. She left the heist, started for home, heard a shout and ran into a young boy—

"We'll let your dad know you're safe. Everyone's been worried sick. Nobody knows what happened to you or Conan after the heist. Did he make it back, too?"

_Conan!_

She froze in mid-step, eyes wide and her breath hitched.

Kaito frowned, looking back at her confused as to why she stopped following. "Aoko?"

"He..."

Who was that?

"He wouldn't come..."

Who spoke?

Kaito spun around fully at that, now face to face with her. "What?"

"He wouldn't..."

Was that...her?

"Sh-shots...they were coming..."

Why did she sound so sad?

"He...he wouldn't get up..."

"What are you talking about?" He demanded, starting to panic.

She only stared at him, wondering why he was getting blurry.

It wasn't just Kaito. Suddenly, everything was getting blurry. She couldn't understand why.

She blinked a couple of times, and felt something warm trail down her cheeks.

They were tears, she realized. She was crying.

...

Why was she crying?

Oh, right. She remembered now. It was because—

_A gasp of pain and trail of red slowly flowing from the gaps between little fingers._

_"__RUN!"_

_One hand reaching out for another that wasn't reaching back._

_"__Don't worry."_

_A sad smile._

_"__I'll be okay."_

_A lie._

And finally...she _remembered_.

"C-Conan..."

"Aoko? What's wrong? Where's Conan?"

She shook her head slowly.

"He said to run." She shuddered. "He...he wouldn't come."

Kaito froze. "W...what?"

"I reached out, but...he didn't...he wouldn't take it."

And that was it.

"He wouldn't take my hand."

That was why.

"He wouldn't come with me."

The reason for the guilt and sorrow she felt...

She looked up at Kaito, like a child begging for an answer, her tears continuing to fall.

"Why wouldn't he come with me?"

Kaito pulled her into a tight hug, but didn't answer.

He knew why...

He knew what they were dealing with. The type of monsters those men were. Tantei-kun would have taken advantage of the first opportunity he thought he could use to escape. If the little detective had chosen to stay behind, it would only be because it had reached the point where to try and continue to escape along with her would have risked them both being caught. He did it to make sure one of them got out safely. He did it to protect Aoko.

And Kaito couldn't help but be grateful to the kid for that.

However...

As Aoko sobbed brokenly in his arms, he couldn't help but hate him for it too.

* * *

AN: Yes, I did traumatize Aoko. Because I'm just slightly more evil than I am lazy. :D


	12. KID VS: JARETH

AN: This chapter is dedicated to one very wonderful reviewer by the name of rianifitria who has drawn two awesome pieces of fanart based on two of my past drabbles. Links will be included below.

This chapter starts up a new line of "KID VS" plot bunnies. First up, a very well known villain/antagonist/obsessive stalker/sex-god/non-Mary Sue-required glittery immortal depending on who you talk to.

Let's begin!

**KID VS: JARETH**

In retrospect, while he was well known for pulling off the impossible despite overwhelming odds, tempting fate or anything even remotely magical was probably not the best idea. He knew an actual WITCH, after all, so he should have remembered that there were other magical beings and artifacts out there as well.

And he really should have figured that a crystal with a legend like that of the one he was currently attempting to make off with would be something to be wary of. Owls and goblins and mazes, oh my!

Of course he figured it as a possible hiding spot for Pandora and went after it, even with snipers, the Task Force, and Hakuba after his head as usual. And he made it past all of them, only to run into a certain chibi-detective...well, more like a soccer-ball being kicked by said chibi-detective, and after dodging a blow that nearly took off his head, he found that he was just not in the mood to deal with him tonight.

Don't get him wrong, he always enjoyed a challenge, but sometimes this kid could be so ANNOYING.

He gave a small scowl at the smug look on the kid's face as he had him trapped in the currently empty west wing of the museum.

REALLY annoying.

So, despite his better judgement NOT to tempt Murphy or whatever higher powers enjoyed screwing people over on a regular basis, Kid found himself glancing down at the crystal ball in his hands then back at the chibi-detective in front of him as an idea came to mind.

"You know what I wish?"

A very BAD idea.

He honestly didn't know what possessed him to say it. Okay, on the one hand, he was rather annoyed with the kid. But more to the point, it also made for a good taunt since Conan would likely get the reference; given his tendency to research everything he'd need to know about Kid's targets.

"I wish the goblins would take you away."

He was expecting the boy to get angry and either make a witty retort or shoot another soccer ball at him.

"Right now."

What he wasn't expecting was the lights to go off.

Kid blinked, confused. "T...Tantei-kun?"

The spiky-haired blond rock star look-a-like that appeared out of nowhere was new, too.

"Huh...things certainly have changed over the years..." The man mused, looking around the room in curiosity, not sparing Kid a glance.

And Kid was annoyed again.

He coughed loudly, getting the man's attention. "Hey!"

"Hmm?"

"Who are you?"

"Who do you think?" The man replied, airily. "When you make a wish on the Goblin King's crystal ball, you're going to see the King of Goblins!" He looked away, muttering darkly. "I still can't believe she gave it away to a museum in...Japan, of all places."

Kid blinked. He was just going to ignore that last bit. "You're the Goblin King?"

The man smirked. "Surprised?"

Well, now that it's actually happening, he found that he really shouldn't be. Thank Akako and her constant use of magic against him for getting him used to such strange occurrences. In hindsight, this result should have been obvious. But for now, he had other concerns...

"Where's Tantei-kun?"

"Whisked away to the Golbin Kingdom. And in thirteen hours, he'll be mine."

Oh HELL no! He had enough trouble competing with that damn Lupin for the brat, there was no way he was gonna let some rock star wannabe take him now! "Give him back!"

"You wished him away, remember?"

"I wasn't SERIOUS!"

Jareth shrugged. "Well, it's too late now. Just go about your life and heists without him. Likely no one will be able to catch you now."

"Hold it!" Kid exclaimed. "I saw the movie! I know how this works! You have to give me a chance to get him back!"

Jareth cursed. "Stupid movie. I knew I shouldn't have let Jim make that thing!"

"I'll ace any challenge you bring on and rescue Tantei-kun!" Sure, it was his fault the mini-detective was in this mess to begin with, but you know...details.

"Do you think you can beat ME? The Goblin King?"

Poker face on, Kid smirked. "Well, you're no David Bowie."

Jareth full-out GLARED. "You have ten hours."

"Wait—I thought it was thirteen?"

"Not any more."

Kid grumbled to himself about stupid otherworldly beings and their no sense of humor.

"Nine hours now."

"What? Oh come on!"

"Want to make it eight?"

"I'm going, I'm going!"

Just for that, he was SO going to dye the David Bowie-wannabe's hair pink before he left.

And leave his logo on every wall of the Goblin Palace.

...And teach all his goblin subjects the lyrics to 'It's a Small World'.

He just hoped Tantei-kun was okay...

**Omake:**

"Dance magic, dance!"

Conan's eye twitched as all the creatures were dancing and singing around him with some sort of David Bowie look-alike leading the show.

'Going to murder you for this, Kid.' The mini-detective turned hostage swore to himself. 'Going to murder. You. HORRIBLY.'

* * *

AN: Hmm...guess this means I still need to get onto a KID VS Lupin drabble, too, huh? Ah well.

In the meantime, enjoy these pics, courtesy of rianifitria.

Conan, Hattori, and Lamarr from Finding Pandora: RESONANCE CASCADE - http : / / rianifitria. livejournal. com/ 1093. html

And Ai Haibara and Evil Kitty, Mr. Snuggles from Shaken, Not Stirred - http : / / rianifitria. livejournal. com/ 1322. html


	13. KID VS: JARETH Ending 1

AN: Okay, I know it's been a while, but I've been having a bit of a hard time deciding just how to continue the previous chapter—because I certainly couldn't leave it like that. What I ended up with was a couple alternate endings to the drabble. Which should I go with?

Well, Clue had three endings. Why not this? So here you go, the first ending. This was the original one I started out with before other people started giving me _other ideas_.

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

And on that note, let us begin...

**KID VS: Jareth ENDING 1**

"This is a bad idea, you know."

How cute. He thinks he's threatening. Jareth turned to face his newest little captive, eyebrow raised. "Oh really?"

Conan merely gazed back, unimpressed. "The longer you keep me here, the worse it's going to be. You should hurry and send me back."

"Why? Because your little thief friend will make me pay if I don't?" He asked, mockingly. Oh please, like some teenager is going to out-do HIM.

"No." Conan replied, looking Jareth in the eye with the full on 'detective glare'. "It's because I'm a detective."

"So?" Like that meant anything to him.

Just then, Spittledrum rushed into the room in a panic. "My lord! Glockensteal has been MURDERED!"

Pause.

Jareth blinked once, twice, before slowly turning to stare at Conan.

The child sighed. "Too late."

Jareth gaped.

Conan then smiled, the epitome of innocence. "Shall we go investigate?"

And suddenly, the Goblin King felt true fear...

**Omake:**

"F-FINALLY!" Kid cheered. "Made it to the end."

"Yes, yes, good for you." Jareth grumbled. "Now go home."

Pause.

Kid glanced around, confused. "Hey, wait a minute! I beat your stupid maze. Where's Tantei-kun?"

"Oh, we sent him back home hours ago."

Pause.

"...What?"

"We let him go home already."

Kid gaped. "WHY?"

"When three goblins drop dead in five hours due to 'seemingly mysterious and unexplainable circumstances', you take a friggin' hint." The Goblin King explained darkly, still clearly vexed by about the matter.

Pause.

"So...then why did you have me continue running the labyrinth then if you already decided to let him go?"

"Because I had to get SOMETHING out of this. I'm hardly about to be the ONLY one to suffer needlessly today."

Kid twitched.


	14. KID VS: JARETH Ending 2

AN: And we're going with ending two for this chapter. The last ending should be up hopefully sooner than it took to do this one. And after that...well, I believe a couple of folks have made some requests.

You can't see it, but I'm grinning very evilly right now. :D

**KID VS: Jareth ENDING 2**

Jareth stared at Conan.

Conan stared at Jareth.

Jareth sighed. "I'll be honest. Usually the children I kidnap are actually...children."

"And usually the people who kidnap me aren't so flamboyant."

"Touché."

Just then, the entryway doors slammed open, causing both to immediately jerk to face the source of the intrusion. A heavy smoke wafted through the doorway, and none other than Kaitou Kid entered the room. Sounds of shouting and chaos could be heard from outside and Jareth honestly didn't want to know what kind of havoc the thief had started up amongst his subjects.

"I've come to reclaim the child!" Kid proclaimed.

"You know I'm not really a kid, right?"

"Hush, Tantei-kun! I'm being authentic!"

Conan simply rolled his eyes.

"Now where was I? Ah yes! Now give me the child! Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought—"

"You know, if you really wanted to be authentic, you should at least do it in the original's voice." Conan interrupted.

Jareth blinked. "He can do that?"

"Pretty sure."

Kid twitched. "FINE!" He cleared his throat and began speaking again, this time in a familiar female voice. "'Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City to take back the child that you have stolen!' Happy?"

Jareth's eye twitched. "I'm more disturbed than anything. And I thought your intentional stop by the Bog to make stink bombs was disturbing enough as it was."

"Well, it's your own fault for leaving a perfectly good source of prank material just lying around." Not that he was actually going to use it on anybody if what others had been saying about the stuff never washing out was true. For a prankster, he was rather polite (in his not-so-humble opinion) in ensuring that his jokes would cause no lasting damage to his victims. No, he certainly had no intention of using the permanent stink bombs on anyone.

Except Snake. Oh yes, HE would be getting a Bog-shower, that's for sure.

"Now," Kid cleared his throat before pointing at Jareth dramatically. "Return Tantei-kun to me!"

"No."

"C'moooooooon!"

"Not happening. Especially not after you spray painted that picture comparing me to a human disco ball on the east wall of my castle."

"It was a vampire." Kid muttered, petulantly.

"Why would a vampire sparkle?" Jareth wondered, confused.

"Eh, it's an American thing. You know how they are—can I have Tantei-kun back?"

"I gue—wait a minute!" Jareth glared. "Not happening."

"But he's mine!"

"Are you WHINING?" Conan asked, a bit surprised.

"...No." Yeah, the thief was definitely pouting.

"Yeah, well, too bad for you."

"Hey!" Kid shouted. "I won him against Lupin fair and square! That makes him MY detective!"

"You're a thief! How was that 'fair and square'?" Conan wondered.

"...Because I said so. And we were both thieves, so, yeah. I won, fair and square!" He explained with a nod of his pristine white top hat.

"And you gave him up, 'fair and square'." Jareth shot back.

"Don't I get a say in this?" Conan demanded.

"NO!" Both contestants shouted before turning their glares back on each other at full blast.

Conan sighed. Of course he didn't. Not like he was an actual PERSON or anything.

And seeing as how they could not come to an agreement through words, action would decide the outcome of the argument.

Kid pulled out his card gun.

Jareth pulled out his crystal ball—no his CRYSTAL ball. BALL, not balls. Get those looks off your faces! Geez!

They were at a standoff, both glaring at the other and waiting for even the slightest hint of movement.

A sudden wind blew past them, causing the capes of both to flair dramatically.

Conan blinked, wondering how they got the wind to blow so dramatically from the opposite direction of the door when they were inside.

And where the tumbleweed came from.

Glance back and...yep. The two were still doing their glare-off/stand-off thing.

"You're going down, kid!"

"Bring it, Bowie!"

And both made to attack when—

BAM! The door was kicked in.

...Again.

"FREEZE!"

Kid and Jareth spun to face the tall, blond, and handsome British figure in the doorway.

...My, WHOEVER could it be?

"Aha! I knew we'd find them here!" Hakuba exclaimed.

"Hakuba?" Kid gaped. "What are YOU doing here?"

Saguru straightened his collar. "I am here to rescue the poor child you both have dragged into your petty squabble."

'Well,' Conan thought. At least SOMEBODY actually considered him in this.

"And on that note: OFFICERS, arrest those men!" Hakuba ordered, pointing at both Jareth and Kid.

Suddenly, police officers barged in from all sides, completely surrounding the duo. Several rushed in through the door Hakuba had already entered from. Some came in through windows that strangely weren't there minutes before. A couple came out from behind the throne, though how long they'd been there was really up for debate. And another three in addition to a more ticked off than normal Nakamori came in from a side room that lead to the knockoff of Escher's 'Relativity', and all seemed to be quite pale-looking and nauseous from the experience.

"What? B-but I came to SAVE Tantei-kun!" Kid sputtered as he was rough handled by a particularly irritated Nakamori who was still very unhappy about the crazy stairs.

"And I'm the friggin King of Goblins! You can't just bust into MY territory and ARREST ME!"

"Yeah, yeah, tell it to the judge!" One officer muttered as he finished putting handcuffs on the second of the "kidnappers".

Both "kidnappers" continued to protest the arrest and the treatment.

Hakuba, however, ignored the two in favor of rescuing the innocent kidnap-ee.

"There, there, Edogawa-kun, you're safe now." Hakuba gently assured the not-child. "That nasty thief and musician look-alike can't hurt you now."

By this point, after having been kidnapped and exposed to magic and various supposedly non-existent creatures for the past several hours over a rivalry between a phantom thief and the king of goblins, said not-child pretty much had no clue what the hell was going on anymore. So he figured he should just go with it.

Thus, cue waterworks.

Conan proceeded to sniffle, "I was so scared!"

"Oh come on!"

"That's just not right!"

"Quiet, you two!" Nakamori shouted. "Take them away!"

"But I'm actually innocent this time!"

"This isn't even my fandom!"

"It's okay, Edogawa-kun. I'll take you home." Saguru assured the chibi detective as he picked him up.

Conan gave a mental shrug. 'Whatever ends this day faster.'

Hakuba smiled and gently carried Conan from the scene. "We'll even get you some ice cream along the way, how does that sound?"

Conan nodded, absentmindedly, a bit distracted by a sudden sense of déjà vu. 'Hang on, why does this seem so familiar?'

It probably has nothing to do with the 'incident' from chapter two.

…Really.

"DAMN YOU, HAKUBA!"

Hakuba merely smirked.

Why yes, Hakuba IS an evil genius, how did you know?

"This isn't FAIR! This was supposed to be Kid vs Jareth! KID VS JARETH! There is no 'Hakuba and Task Force' in the title!"

"This is all YOUR fault!" Jareth hissed at the kaitou.

"Shut up, both of you!"

**Omake:**

There it was, right there in black and white on the security footage.

"See?" Hattori exclaimed, pointing at the screen. "I TOLD ya he'd been kidnapped!"

"Indeed." Hakuba agreed.

"Come on, we have to go rescue him!" The cap-wearing teen was nearly out the door when he was jerked back by a surprisingly less than gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Actually, I think I'll take it from here." Saguru told him, surprisingly calm. "Thank you for your assistance, but your presence is no longer necessary."

Hattori blinked. "What? Why? I've worked with Ku-Conan more than you! I should be there!"

Hakuba smiled. "Yes, but I have more of a history with Kid, and while I am sure that Edogawa-kun must be...stressed," read: traumatized, "over his circumstances, I feel I would be better able to handle the situation."

Hattori deadpanned. "You just wanna get back at Kid, don't you?"

"What?" The blond seemed affronted by the very idea. "Not at all! I am hardly the type of person to take advantage of a horrible situation for my own personal gain just because I happen to be given a perfect opportunity to get one over on that thief for every prank or arrogant trick he has inflicted against my person over the past few years and who knows how many different stories in fanfiction..."

"Not that you're bitter or anything."

Hakuba smirked. "Not at all...now if you'll excuse me, I have a thief—and some fangirls—to mess with."

Hattori huffed. "Right...I'm going home. Call me when things go back to normal."

"You mean when another dead body falls from the sky?"

"...Shut up."


	15. KID VS: JARETH Ending 3

AN: Hey everybody, I know it's been a while. *Ducks to avoid gunshot* Okay, a _long_ while. But I'm back again, finally updating this and putting an end to the KID VS Jareth plunnie.

**KID VS Jareth ENDING 3**

"JARETH!" Kid shouted, announcing his presence as he stormed the great hall of the Goblin King's castle.

"Well, well...so the thief has arrived."

"Enough games, Jareth! I will save Tantei-kun, and—" Kid cut off, realizing something. "Hey, wait...where is he?"

"What? He's right over there..." Confused, Jareth blinked and looked to the spot the kidnapped not-child was supposed to be. Instead, there was a small group of sheepish-looking goblins trying to avoid glancing anywhere in the two combatants' direction now that they'd been noticed.

Jareth's eye twitched. "Well?" He demanded. He was a friggin Goblin King, he DID have things to do—kingdom to run, children to kidnap, teenage girls to seduce, other fanfics to appear in...he was a busy man, after all.

One of the smaller goblins was pushed forward. With little choice, he shuffled up to Jareth and held up a note.

"He says to give you this."

Annoyed, Jareth snatched the note and began to read. Kid, being Kid, looked over the older man's shoulder to read the note as well.

"_Jareth and Kid,_

_Got tired of watching you two posturing and went home._

_Restraining orders are on the way._

_Stay away from me, you STALKERS._

_Conan"_

Stare.

Blink.

Stare.

Blink. Blink.

And then it finally hit them just what happened, and both proceeded to react the most eloquent way possible.

"WHAT?" Jareth roared, crumpling the paper in his rage.

Kid wasn't any better off. "He..._went HOME_?"

"I don't believe this!"

"How could he just LEAVE?"

"I thought I told you lot to guard him?" Jareth shouted, glaring angrily at the cowering goblins.

"I mean, he KNEW I was coming to save him, right?" Kid, apparently, was rather put off at being unable to perform a daring rescue.

"He...has a mean kick, sir..." One managed to mutter.

"And a soccer ball. Those things _hurt_!"

"Oh, for the love of—"

"And after all that work I did to get here!" Kid pouted.

"How are we supposed to have an epic showdown like this?"

"Kidnappees are supposed to wait to be rescued! That's how it works, right?" Granted, he's a thief—one that never actually kidnapped anyone, so it's not like he would know, but still, you'd THINK...

"I'm a David Bowie look-alike! I am too old and too rich for this!" Jareth growled as he turned and began to stomp off.

"Wait—where are you going?" Kid asked, surprised that the other was leaving as well.

"I need a drink..."

Kid stared, blinked, and with nothing else to do, he shrugged and simply followed after the Goblin King.

The remaining goblins watched the two leave, a bit lost now that they were completely forgotten about. They glanced at each other, unsure of what to do and now a bit down since the epic showdown had been called off.

"Now what?" One asked.

Before anyone could answer, popping sounds and explosions could be heard from outside. Looking out the door, they saw that chaos was still reigning outside—a result of Kid's multiple pranks...and revenge. Fireworks were going off, stink bombs had been thrown everywhere, and the walls—oh LORD, the walls...

"..."

"So..." One ventured. "Who's cleaning that up?"

"..."

The goblins sent wary glances at one another.

"Onetwothree—not it!"

**Omake:**

Three hours later...

"Dance, magic dance! Dance, magic dance! Put that baby's spell on me!"

A certain vampire of the non-sparkling variety raised an eyebrow at the duo singing on stage. "Who are those guys?" He asked the proprietor of the club.

"I don't know, but I haven't heard rock sung like this since 1986!"

"Just how drunk are they?"

"..."

"...Lorne...? How much did you give them?"

"Enough."

"...How much is 'enough'?"

"Enough to keep them occupied till a certain Miss Williams and Konosuke-san can come collect them. Till then, just enjoy the free show." He then turned to another patron seated at the bar. "Right, David?"

"Meh, I did it better."

* * *

AN: A little bit of Angel thrown in there for the heck of it. Because where else are supernatural beings and their temporary nemesis's going to go to get drunk?

Well, can't say I'm all that impressed with this ending compared to the other two, but still, at least it's out and that means the KID VS Jareth plot is finished. Now I can move on to—*Is knocked out from behind*

Mysterious Figure: I've got a better ending in mind. *Evil grin*


	16. KID VS: JARETH True Ending

**KID VS Jareth TRUE ENDING**

"JARETH!" Kid shouted, announcing his presence as he stormed the great hall of the Goblin King's castle.

"Well, well...so the thief has arrived."

"Enough games, Jareth! I will save Tantei-kun, and—" Kid cut off, realizing something. "Hey, wait...where is he?"

"What? He's right over there..." Confused, Jareth blinked and looked to the spot the kidnapped not-child was supposed to be. Instead, there was a small group of sheepish-looking goblins trying to avoid glancing anywhere in the two combatants' direction now that they'd been noticed.

Jareth's eye twitched. "Well?" He demanded. He was a friggin Goblin King, he DID have things to do—kingdom to run, children to kidnap, teenage girls to seduce, other fanfics to appear in...he was a busy man, after all.

One of the smaller goblins was pushed forward. With little choice, he shuffled up to Jareth and held up a note.

"He says to give you this."

Annoyed, Jareth snatched the note and began to read. Kid, being Kid, looked over the older man's shoulder to read the note as well.

_"Jareth and Kid,_

_Not nice of you boys to have a party and not invite me. So, I figured I'd make off with the treasure since you two were too busy posturing. No need to worry. The little detective is perfectly safe in my hands._

_Signed,_

_Lupin III"_

And almost as if it was mocking them, the note even included a little drawing at the bottom of what could only be Lupin SMIRKING at them.

Stare.

Blink.

Stare.

Blink. Blink.

And then it finally hit them just what happened.

Kid's eye twitched. "That...damn..."

Cut to outside.

"LUUUUUPIIIIIIIIIIN!"

Goblins trembled, strange bird-creatures scattered.

And the world finally knew the true meaning of fear...

Jigen looked back at the castle. "Someone sounds mad."

"Well, he shouldn't have wasted all that time, then." Lupin shrugged with a grin.

Conan sighed. "Not that I don't appreciate the help," Because at least SOMEBODY had tried to get him out of there, "but did you REALLY need to antagonize him?"

Lupin shrugged. "Hey, no good thief just CLAIMS a detective. We earn them!"

"That sounds surprisingly noble of you." Goemon noted.

"Besides, if anyone should get to claim a detective, it should be me!"

Conan sighed. "So much for noble."

"Never claimed to be." Besides, he was still annoyed about the hissy fit Kid threw over Lupin's previous face-off with the shrunken detective.

After all, Kid may have successfully embarrassed Conan in front of a crowd of sympathizers to guilt him into coming to his next heist, but that hardly meant he'd stand by and let Lupin get away with it. And he most certainly didn't.

Lupin STILL couldn't look Zenigata in the eye.

Jigen frowned "Hey, Lupin. You're not still mad about Kid super-gluing you to—"

"That never happened!"

"But—"

"NEVER. HAPPENED."

There was silence for a moment as the other three stared at a twitching Lupin.

"O...kay..." Conan muttered, looking away.

He wouldn't ask. It'd be better for his sanity that way.

"So what now?" The spectacled boy wondered.

"Hmm..." Lupin thought it over for a moment before grinning. "Hey! Why don't you join my crew here!"

Pause.

Conan stared. "What?"

"Well, far be it from me to give up an opportunity to tick off that annoying phantom wanna-be." And if rescuing the little hostage before Kid could didn't tick Kid off, having said hostage hanging with his group would certainly do the trick.

"But I'm a detective!"

"We can fix that."

"That's not something you can just 'fix'!"

"Never know till you try, right?"

Conan slapped his forehead. 'Can someone SANE save me? Anyone? Please?'

* * *

Lupin: Because YES, I AM awesome enough to steal the ending. And the story is better off for it.

*Groan*

Lupin: Looks like it's time to head out. Till next time! *Flees*

What happened? Why is there an extra chapter here? *Reads over, eyes widen* Oh...oh boy...I didn't know they could do that.


End file.
